Who's Afraid of the Big Bad... Bureau?

FamilyGoKarts.com president Jeff Backer takes on the Better Business Bureau's fairy tale world in this (admittedly) hokey parody of your favorite childhood stories!

Once upon a time (actually, a little more than twenty years ago), my brother Jay and I got an idea. We decided to start a business focused on selling things that would help families save money and make memories together.

From that first simple notion, FamilyGoKarts.com was born.

These Little Piggies Went To Market!

So we set out gathering all the things we needed to build a rock solid, successful business. From the very beginning, we knew that customer service would be our foundation. We sought out suppliers with family-friendly products and put together a customer-friendly sales team to rival the best around. Then, we carefully laid row upon row of more rock solid building blocks... things like free shipping, low prices and top-quality products. It wasn't long before we had a great little business, but we didn't stop there. We kept adding even more blocks, like our 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, our simple, "No Questions Asked" Return Policy and a 45 Day Money Back Guarantee on every gokart we sell.

Soon customers were coming from all over to buy gokarts, ATVs, motorcycles and more from our safe and secure, family-owned, family-friendly business.

A Wolf in Sheeps Clothing?

Everything was humming smoothly until one day along came a wolf! He wasn't dressed in sheeps clothing, but he was disguised as a caring friend and said he could help us build on our core principles of customer satisfaction and trust. We thought what he said sounded great, and so began our long relationship with the Better Business Bureau.

At first, everything seemed fine. We paid the BBB handsomely, and in return he kept careful records of any dissatisfied customers and even worked with us to help make them happy again. We were rated A+ and given a glowing review. This went on for a long, long time, and we never had a complaint that we didn't make right.

My What Big Teeth You Have!

But one day, our newfound friend came to work angry. He was upset because he wanted more money and said he was getting tired of helping our customers. After a lot of discussion, Mr. BBB started showing his teeth... and what big teeth they were, too! Soon he was snarling and snorting beyond reason, and we (diplomatically) asked him to leave.

Once outside, though, the customer service disguise came off and we saw him for what he really was... a big, bullying blowhard with motives beyond making customers happy. We found out he had been doing the same thing to other little businesses, too! Passing himself off as a friend, he would work his way in, only later to charge questionable fees and make unrealistic demands in exchange for a good rating and a favorable review. Now, little piggies don't usually mind a stink, but this whole thing was starting to smell like a protectionism racket. We had built our business on a reputation of honesty, integrity and trust, and the notion of paying for ratings really got up our little piggy snouts!

He Huffed and He Puffed!

Try as he might, the Big Bad Bureau just wasn't able to blow down our business, but it sure wasn't for lack of trying. In one well-aimed puff, he blew our A+ rating right out the window and knocked us all the way down to a D. Now it takes a lot of huffing and puffing to completely skip B and C!

Shocked by the unexplained drop, we did some digging and discovered we weren't the first business the BBB had tried to blow away. So, we held our ground and our rock-solid little business stood firm.

It continues to stand firm, too, and customers still come from all around to enjoy our Satisfaction Guarantee on family-friendly products at competitive prices. In fact, real customer reviews show our rating just keeps getting better. From stars to smilies, we rank among the most trusted retailers online. Today, our little business continues to grow with thousands of satisfied customers adding to it every year.

And They 'Rode' Happily Ever After

At FamilyGoKarts.com, we constantly strive to meet our customers needs. We are continually adding help files and tutorial videos to our support site, getting to know our customers through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and gathering customer input any way possible all in an effort to improve our service.

Out of thousands and thousands of customers, we've only received around 100 complaints, giving us a 99.997% satisfaction rate. That ain't bad for little piggies like us, and we're proud of that number! We'll put it up against any of our competitors, but don't ask us to justify it to the BBB. We're just plain tuckered out from all their hot air.

Now, I know this is supposed to end with the mean 'ol wolf climbing down the chimney and winding up in a pot of boiling soup, but that seems a little harsh. We're more than willing to go our way and let the BBB, well... be! Besides, we'd much rather deal with customers directly. So, if you're already a customer, thanks for helping build a great business.

And if you're not a customer yet, give us a shot. We started out more than 20 years ago with a vision to build a down-home, customer-oriented, family-friendly company people can trust, and 20 years from now we'll still be operating by that same principle. You can ride our gokarts over the hills and through the woods all the way to Grandmother's house and back, and we'll still be here with our great customer service and satisfaction guarantee... no matter what the wolf says.

So, let's ride off into the sunset together and leave the Big Bad Bureau to snarl alone in their fairy tale world!

Check out these links if you want to know more about the BBB's fairy tale world...
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/business-bureau-president-apologizes-errors-grading-system/story?id=12153392#.UFnZ11GsTKc
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/business-bureau-best-ratings-money-buy/story?id=12123843#.UFnauFGsTKc
http://www.ripoffreport.com/bbb-better-business-bureau/bbb/bbb-better-business-bureau-is-77227.htm
a http://blog-bbb.com/tag/better-business-bureau-unfair/page/2/
http://www.internet-success-hub.com/3804/google-improves-from-%E2%80%98unsatisfactory%E2%80%99-to-%E2%80%98c-%E2%80%99-rating-at-bbb/
http://searchengineland.com/google-improves-bbb-rating-52648